You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
