Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
