i permit you to call me
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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