He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
