My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
