well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
