got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
