she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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