Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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