Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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