Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
