i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
