ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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