At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize