well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
