your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
