handjob tips. give me some.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."