u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander