I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
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I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
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Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video