you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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