At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
