Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
