so that wasnt chicken after all
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
