you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
