i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize