doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
