so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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