like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
