Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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