You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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