this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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