I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
