Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
