White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
