garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
