What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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