How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
