he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
