I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?