I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.