i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested