arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
