she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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