the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
