Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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