lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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