Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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