i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
