I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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