ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
