shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she woke up with a sticky ear
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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