Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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