Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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