I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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