We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
