I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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