I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
