Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
